


Reverse-Isekai React

by Wishful_Witch



Category: Re:Zero
Genre: Al needs a break, Anastasia is Greedy, Beako gets tortured with tickles to ‘spill the beans’, Crack Taken Seriously, Crusch is at the edge of her seat constantly, Emilia simultaneously cheers us on and cries for us, Even more-so with Echidna, Ferris is tortured with the urge to heal all the wounded and sick people he sees, History, If Garfiel had a tail it would be wagging constantly, Julius is a nerd, Otto is best boy, Priscilla ‘oNly FinDs sUbarU sLighTLy AmUsinG’, React, Reinhard is a Shut-in-Nuke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:40:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28797756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wishful_Witch/pseuds/Wishful_Witch
Summary: Echidna smells knowledge and causes havoc to reach this other-wordly information.
Relationships: Everyone/Subaru, Subaru/Everyone
Comments: 41
Kudos: 228





	Reverse-Isekai React

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Re:Zero Watching Him Die Again and Again](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27548665) by [Reactionist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reactionist/pseuds/Reactionist). 



> This is my first fic! Took a while to finally publish this, but we got here! This beginning is the introduction to the chaos that will unfold with Echidna’s vexing schemes, shorter in comparison to the other chapters but sweet nonetheless. Onward we will restart from zero, and watch the cast react to our world and the antics this produces!
> 
> This chapter was purposefully written to put the audience in Subaru’s shoes, this meaning the confusion is justified. Otherwise, I assure you that your questions will be answered in later chapters!

The sound of voices was the first thing he heard. Loud, quarreling voices danced in discord around him. Variant pitches and tones, all somehow more annoying than the last. Subaru subconsciously grit his teeth, wanting to claw out his own eardrums but seemingly lacking the strength in his arms to lift them at all.

“Ermmmmm,” Subaru whined and gripped his blanket, having to endure the painfully-loud battle of sounds was like being repeatedly spammed with notifications. He wanted to hit something ‘Shut uppppppp.”

“What do you mean? You only want to use him, you don’t care for his well-being at all!” A rage-filled voice accused,this being the first string of sounds he remembered understanding. They sounded distraught.

“Gosh, you can’t even fathom letting Natsuki-kun make his own choices. How sad, I never said I would force him to do anything,” a confident voice responded casually, “besides it seems like you are too incompetent to even care for him if you wanted to. I seriously doubt people like ya' are really that capable of learning anything. Even with all we've been taught.. It's sad really.”

“Don’t talk to miss Emilia like that!” someone else cut back, a demonic growl followed. The ground squeaked and audibly ruptured, like it was being crushed under a giant's foot.

Subaru stirred, still adamant on trying to ignore the bickering occurring between the unfamiliar voices around him. Whoever they were didn’t matter, but their yelling contest was ear-piercing. He needed to find a way to make them stop, then he could finally get back to sleep.

“Ha! How foolish of you mongrels to argue over something so idiotic! You pigs should know better than to oink and screech right in front of your butcher!” A haughty sounding feminine voice interrupted.

“Who asked for your damn opinion, trash. Don’t even get me started if you think that you’ll be the one to take big-bro's hand! Have you seriously learned nothing here, talk about ignorant. You can't even figure it out when it's spelled out for you!” a more childish sounding voice spat. "The world doesn't revolve around you, remember~? It revolves around the sun! Which is..." the voice paused, seemingly anticipating someone else to finish her sentence.

"Which is... very hot?" a masculine sounding voice muttered weakly.

A huff followed, the person from before whispered, "A lot brighter then you will ever be..."

...

"Oh-! A lot brighter then you will ever be!" the dense individual repeated the words with an innocently excited tone, which made the roast fall flat through any potential savagery it could've had. Subaru forgot his irritation for a moment, nodding in acknowledgement to the cuteness this person radiated.

...

The sound of screeching wind followed, before dissipating on impact with some unknown surface. Almost as if it was nullified by some kind of barricade.

"Huh, did I say something wrong Miss?" he sounded hurt. Subaru's hand slightly raised, instinctively searching to deliver head-pats. Only before failing immediately and giving up, falling back to his side unnoticed. 

"You dummy, how many times do I have to repeat the script before it sets through your dense-skull! Wait, and HEY! Why'd you aim that at me, I wasn't even the one who messed the roast up in the first place! Talk about petty-"

“As if I would waste my energy on an insignificant insect like you, HA! What else should I do when a fly buzzes near my ear then seize and crush it.” Priscilla interrupted. 

“Priscilla, If I may, on what terms do you believe the boy would ever choose you over any of us?” A mature sounding woman asked coolly.

The aforementioned lady snorted before pausing to respond, “It’s simple really, If I wish it then he would come running to me like a dog! The world is made to suit me perfectly so I wouldn’t even have to call for him.”

The other voices exploded in retortion at this, loudly crashing.

Subaru groaned and pushed his head back further into his pillow, trying to escape from the chaos erupting around him so he could finally rest peacefully again. ‘Just shut uppppppppppppp.”

“How dare you assume Betty would allow you to treat her contractor like that! Don’t underestimate me, I’m far older then you’ll ever live to be!”

“Yeah! Don’t talk about Rem’s hero like that, the only one that can pet Subaru-kun is me!”

“I’m with Beako and Rem here, I’ll erm… I’ll maybe shorten your lifespan myself if it comes to that,” someone squeaked, “and I mean it! Subaru is a good boy, you shouldn’t degrade him like that! O-oookay?” she extenuated the word on her tongue after tripping up, trying to sound out a new word she must’ve heard from someone foreign before. Although completely familiar to Subaru, the wacky pronunciation of it really added to the whole fantasy girl act she gave off to him. 

Subaru subconsciously nodded in approval at this supposed acting. 'Good cosplay.'

“Miss Emilia, I do believe you are behaving very hypocritical to threaten her on the grounds that she was treating him like an animal, since you use those kind of degrading pet names yourself. Although to follow up on your threat, surprisingly the wind of untruth isn’t blowing from around you.”

“How crude, so the half-elf lady is going to use violence on us just to keep her boy-toy to herself?” The heavy accented-voice returned to criticize the good cosplayer with a sassy snort.

“Hey, don’t you dare talk about big sis like that, I’ll punch you too if you keep saying that sorta stuff while cowering in the background, Anastasia! Besides, we all know you would try something even dirtier! Right rein?”

“Miss Felt please don’t introduce me into this debate intending to have me insult people. Not to be rude, but you should really know by now… i'm just not really good at that kind of thing…”

“Pffft… A- for effort?”

This nonsensical bickering chipped away at Subaru’s sanity, until he just couldn’t take it anymore. Summoning enough irritation-born energy to move, and pushing his worn-body from pure agitation he turned around and opened his eyes just wide enough to manage a heavy squint. This slow, silent action remained unnoticed by the room.

“Please… just shut up-” Subaru’s near-mute voice cracked, too hoarse and heavy from a dry throat and sleepy vocal cords. His inaudible plea didn’t make a sound in this chaotic environment.

Even then he kept trying to all of his grumpy ability. Subaru reached his hand out, hardly focused on what he was trying to grab. He just hoped to bump into someone or alert someone by knocking something over. Just enough to get them to quiet down for a bit…

His outstretched hand brushed against another, which open holding felt much smaller in comparison. He grabbed onto it and forced his eyelids open, looking to see what he caught with his fishing. A loli with blonde-drill-tails and a stern expression stood close to him. Acknowledging his advance by gripping his hand to reciprocate the gesture. 

Even then, she was far too distracted in protecting her contractor from his own dangerous harem members to register this reality fully or to give her focus back to him.

“Go back to bed. I’m too busy handling the result of your trouble-making nature.” Still too caught up in this argument to understand the implications of the interaction they just shared, she focused herself on the flaring gals in front of her.

Nonetheless, the argument continued.

“Why should he have to go anywhere with you at all? He is my knight and he really loves us, he has always pushed himself for our sakes and you’ve seen it too! He will always come back to me, he promised! That is the type of boy my knight is!” The silver-haired cosplayer raised her voice defensively. 

“Sure, but the only reason he is so darn loyal to you is because you were the first person he met and the only stale unchanging pillar he was allowed to lie on, But that wasn’t anything but a silly crush that has been taken too far-" Anastasia growled, barking earnest hateful words to her opponent.

"Miss Anastasia-" Julius stepped in, trying to calm his mistress down. Only to have his hand slapped away in retaliation. 

"No! Let me speak," Anastasia glared, leaving him looking betrayed and hurt. Remaining un-faltered in her onslaught of a speech she still continued, "He has repaid his debts to you time and time again yet you never compensate for all your camp has put him through!” she hissed.

“And whose fault is for that incompetence but our own as well?” Crusch retorted. “You shouldn’t speak like we ourselves have repaid him either. We’ve been shown loud and clear how much we have to make up for the boy.”

“She’s right nya, we weren’t even there for Subaru-kyun throughout Arc 4, Nyeah?” A catboy clinging to her side protectively added. Accentuating his own accent to further mock the woman his lady was arguing with.

“Gosh, that wasn’t my point at all missy. Those times were clearly different, my point is that it was THEIR responsibility to protect and care for him. Talk about missing the nail on the head…” she sighed exasperatedly, “Even then I can promise to fairly compensate Natsuki-kun for his accomplishments and tend to his trials. But what is to say that the Emilia camp won’t just fail him again and again like we’ve been shown loud and clear, repeatedly!” Anastasia glared and pointed to the pointy-eared girl standing before her, Ana herself seething in frustration.

“Hmmmmm…” Crusch raised her hand and held her face, closing her eyes to deeply consider this statement.

“Money can’t heal trauma! Besides you money-hungry-business-people are too distracted by your damn greed to care about anything else. And Big-Sis is trying her hardest, but I can help her with that without nabbing the boy like he's some pawn.” Felt ranted and raised her fist, ignoring her knight desperately trying to reprimand her for being ungraceful with her vocabulary.

“That is true, but I hear that your only plans for this kingdom is to tear it down. It seems like you are keen on destroying but I have no reason to believe that you understand what it takes to build something back up again. So what’s to say that you’ll even be able to understand how to help him heal?” Crusch responded.

“Damn whose side are you on?”

“Miss Emilia’s Camp, I am loyal to my alliance after all. I will do whatever it takes to secure Natsuki's safety and protect his camp's position. I am forever indebted to that boy, please forgive my selfishness."

“Crusch…” Rem said her name, looking betrayed.

“Looks like I’m not the only gal with a motive after all, jeez. Sooooo hypocritical.” Ana said.

“Hey stop talking like I’m not here!” Emilia desperately cried at her exclusion from this important conversation about her faction and knight. It wasn’t fair!

Priscilla sighed, “Such bothersome creatures can’t even learn to give up. The gall..” she glared from behind the lethal weapon she fanned herself with. Already bored from this useless commoner squabble, she grit her teeth silently and casually kicked her leg down with tremendous force.

“Mam please be more gentle on my back!- oof” Al cried from underneath her heel.

The room continued to fill itself with more aggressive chatter, the temperaments of the candidates about to explode.

But some raven-haired boy had already hit that milestone. Call him a grumpy speedrunner.

“SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!” Subaru gave into his anger and roared, shooting up from his sleeping position still just half-wake and barely thinking. 

“Don’t talk to your Betty like that I suppose!”

“Be quite Subaru-kun!:

“That’s rude to say to your own spirit, bad boy!”

“Please do stay out of this, Subaru Natsuki.”

“Jeeze, go back to bed if ya’ are gonna go all cranky on us like that.”

“Hey, Reinhardt doesn’t even let me use that word! Unfair!”

“You are the one that should silence themselves, go and lick my shoes. Worm.”

Subaru groaned and glared heatedly, he just wanted some sleep Dammit! He threw his head back in frustration, his head now throbbing with a killer headache.. These annoying strangers couldn’t keep their blabbering lips shut for one second!

His -very awake- behavior quickly struck an important realization into the core of every person in the room. An incredibly awkward pause ensued, the previous tension dissipating like sugar dissolving in water. Only to be replaced by another tension itself.

Jaws were dropped, eyebrows were raised and everyone felt some flavor of downright confusion. Everyone’s shock was so apparent on their faces that if Subaru wasn’t so exhausted, he would’ve laughed his ass off. It seemed surreal.

Subaru only sat underneath his blanket, giving a nasty-eyed glare to all the strange looking characters who dared to gawk at him. Suddenly the sharp pain throbbing from his forehead intensified, he groaned in agony and reached to hold forehead. Slipping down his seat, he let his body melt into the weight of its own exhaustion. 

Subaru closed his eyes, “God this is really annoying fever-dream…” he hissed with squinted eyes, it was too painful to open them completely. The few lights in the room shined so bright it felt like he was looking into multiple gateways to heaven, he gave up his sight and closed his lids once more.

After a few more moments of silence, Subaru yawned. He had already lost his previous adrenaline and became bored, feeling tired again, “I swear I haven’t even seen these characters in a manga or anything before either. Weird-looking people…” he attempted to get a response from the shocked-silent crowd. The energy he had previously been driven from his emotions had worn off, leaving him feeling more fatigued than before. It stung a little to speak from the yelling earlier.

...

Disturbed by the total lack of response in the room, Subaru's mind started to fester  
concern. His thoughts raced to find a conclusion, face twisting in annoyance and dread. ...

...

“Oh!” he suddenly shot forward from his seat with his eyes still closed, "Dooooon’t~ tell me this is going to be one of those nightmares where I open my eyes and some cheap jump-scare pops out. At least try not to be so cliche, I’ve seen enough horror movies to know where this is going!” He smirked proudly. Bingo!

Subaru relaxed his shoulders, reaching his hand to rest on his arm. Smiling, he slowly opened his eyes, thinking he had already outsmarted any classical scare his bland mind could’ve been given. “Come on already, A for effort-” he declared cockily, right before being cut off mid-speech.

Subaru Natsuki, in the flesh, could never have prepared himself for what happened next.

"Subaru has awoken! He is just like a sleeping beauty, Rem will need to kiss him though!"  
"Sister-sister, doesn't the kiss come before he wakes up?"

Rem hurriedly moved, throwing her demonic strength back into ground and propelling herself forward to welcome back her sweetheart from his long rest. Her mace flailed in unison, ringing eerily.  
Ram on the other hand, previously frozen up from shock, reached out with panic. Uselessly begging reason from her manically love-crazed sibling.

"Natsuki-sama, we need to abort the ship immediately before one of these psychos try to force this into being cannon!"  
"Bring it on! I'll make this a WW3 if it means protecting Cap'n from these psychos!"

Otto reached for his pouch to pull out a weaponizable gemstone, hiding behind Garfiel for cover. Without any animals to use his divine-blessing on, he was severely disadvantaged. But a good-merchant never abandons their key benefactors! And a good friend never leaves their friends behind!  
Garfiel readied himself to join in the fray and steadied himself for the heat of battle. Grinning fiercely with the savagery of a mighty-tiger he had seen from captains world. 

"Come here darling, I promise I am the only candidate here who could truly monopolize your heart!"  
"I apologize Subaru, it's unknightly for me to force you into the midst of our conflicts. Please do not spirit- erm... it was a ghost wasn't it... don't ghost me after this!?"

Anastasia stood from atop a chair, holding her hand over her heart as she declared her greed out to him passionately. Without wasting a second, she climbed onto Ricardo's back. The twins latched onto each parallel side, completing the chariot formation. Together they sped forward with immense speed.  
Julius joined in after his mistress, his eyebrows flurried in concern. Even then, he quickly summoned his spirits and harnessed his newfound power to charge forward fearlessly. The only thoughts on his mind were of honoring his lady and protecting his friend from the inevitable onslaught to come.

"Big bro, I need your help so we can finally seize the means of production!” Felt ripped off the droopy fabric from her dress so she could manage this chase without being held back by her knight's ridiculous fashion protocols.  
Reinhardt didn't even hesitate, disappearing in a flash of light and monstrous speed. Luckily for Felt's sake, too focused on his mission to notice her atrocious treatment of the priceless dress.

"Ferris, we can't let her touch him! Use your catboy charm to subdue his heart!"  
NyaaaaAAAA-" Crusch-sama?! Are you trying to battle with the capitalist?!!"  
"In the midst of chaos there is an opportunity -sun tzu"  
"Please allow me to intervene in your place madam, I don't have any quotes to back my standing though. Apologies, Natsuki-sama." Whilhelm leaped forward ahead.

Crusch cried out her orders valiantly, attempting to raise her camp's spirits' with an excellent quote from a like-minded brilliant leader of the arts of war. Pulling out her blade, she raised her arms to deliver a deadly strike of wind to the opposing teams jumping ahead of them.  
Ferris scurried up, looking at her with disbelief. His heart forever most loyal to his lady, he couldn't let her push herself into conflict like this! She still was recovering!  
Wilhelm readily took her place, pulling out a blade and running into battle in stead of his mistress. He couldn't help but feel pity for Subaru, the lad didn't deserve this kind of awakening. 

“I am the only one who will win this, Al, off with their heads!”  
“Brother, protect your face! The princess wouldn’t like her concubine to be damaged in shipping. Those workers don’t get paid enough for her wrath, right?!”

Priscilla summoned her Yang Sword, barking out orders of fetch to her dog. These fools needed to pay for their idiocy, they weren't worthy of her 'patience' anymore! How dare they think themselves high enough to steal her concubine! She will execute their punishments without question. It is legal because she wishes it!  
Al ran away from threat 1# and into threat #???, this really wasn't his day. He still tried to give some words of advice to the Princess's future boy-toy. He didn’t want Subaru to get a scar-face of his own after all. 

All pride and confidence fled Subaru’s unprepared heart, his body moved on it’s own. Jolting to attention, his mind jumped to flight or fight mode as he was forced to apprehend the stampeding crowd of powerful people reaching to grab him. Feeling every drop of bravery evaporate, His face twisted in terror and his jaw dropped to scream.

"Let it goooo~! Let it goooo~! Don't hold it back anymore-!"

Suddenly, the pretty cosplayer by the name of 'Emilia' popped up within his line of sight. Racing forward on her waves of ice, she flew through the air majestically. Singing Disney as ice-icicles formed and swirled around her. Orbs swirling around her form and dancing magically among the ice.

The battle-royal had begun.

Power shook the structure of the building and tore apart the floorboards, uprooting dust and debris that rained down across and around the room. Chaos rumbled and boomed, clashing and colliding violently. Predators from each angle and position leaped towards him with looks of focus and determination. Thus had begun the hunt, the manhunt!

“AaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-” The sound of Subaru’s cries was muffled out in between the chaos that erupted towards him. The world went white. 

...

Among the conflicts, one last audible voice could be heard saying, "Houston, we have a problem." 

...

“Foolish…” 

...

“How curious how love can be, humans and their strange traditions.” 

...

“Abandoning all that knowledge and learning you’ve been given for the sake of fulfilling your desires. It’s idiotic and plainly unhelpful in practice. It seems no matter the world you come from humans will always be so unreasonable. Hmmmmmmmm~...”

...

“The human heart is such a deadweight.”

...

...

...

"And so, so entertaining…”

*Record Scratch*  
*Freeze Frame*

“Now, how did we get here…” Satella scurried up to the screen, stumbling a bit. She stood back up, turning to the camera and holding her hands on her hips. A cute pout on her face, “It all began when a pestful narrator’s story was fortunately sabotaged by a greedy witch, who played a evil trick just for the sake of satisfying her infinite curiosity.”  
Shadows stretched across the perspective, in which a hand-like arm of such stretched out and hit a button on the screen. Sending the video back into replay. Various images flew by, ones of war and peace. Those of fiction and nonfiction. Peoples and Societies. Another world!  
“And in turn, led to the fatal fate of one boy. Who, for all of the eternity onwards, would repeatedly be pulled apart like a stick of mozzarella from in between the political harem that engulfed him…” Satella’s voice was brimming with emotion, she gripped onto the cloak of shadows that rested about her heart.  
“To tell his story, we will need to restart once more...back to zero!”

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter was chaotic, and I understand that it lacks context so you probably feel like you have more questions then answers. But I assure you that this will all make sense later on.
> 
> Updates will optimally be once a week at minimum, life gets chaotic so I don’t plan on making too making too many promises but I will say: Stay tuned.


End file.
